Posts tagged "Coaching"

Reults Coaching

Is it not just better to eat the darn marshmallow?

March 28th, 2025 Posted by Life Coaching, Performance Coaching 0 thoughts on “Is it not just better to eat the darn marshmallow?”

Many years ago, when my daughters were much younger, I was explaining the importance of delayed gratification (can you imagine how intolerable it would be having a father as a coach? Very… apparently). To demonstrate my point, I described the famous experiment conducted by Walter Mischel and his colleagues at Stanford University in the 1960s. To this, my daughter responded with overwhelming confidence, “I’d be really good at that!”

If you’re unfamiliar with the experiment, the marshmallow test aimed to study delayed gratification and self-control in children. In the experiment, a child was presented with a marshmallow and given a choice: they could eat the treat immediately, or they could wait for a short period (typically 15 minutes) and receive an additional treat as a reward. The results revealed that children who resisted the immediate temptation and waited for the reward tended to have better outcomes later in life, such as higher academic achievement, better social skills, and improved emotional regulation. This simple yet impactful experiment has been influential in psychology, sparking discussions on self-control, decision-making, and the nature of human behaviour.

Taken aback by such confidence, I asked, “Why do you say that?”

“I don’t like marshmallows,” she said smugly. Can you imagine how intolerable it would be to have such a smug child? I’d better not answer that!

Why this recollection came to mind after all these years is because I was debating in my mind whether it is always better to delay gratification for a future (but sometimes uncertain) reward, or to live in the moment—have your reward now and damn the consequences! After all, mindfulness practitioners often tell us that it is healthier to live in the moment, do they not?

For example, although I’ve got a few years to go, my wife and I are saving for retirement. I don’t know about you, but I’d like to have a few options when I get there. To achieve that, we have to make some sacrifices now. BUT, how many people do you know who have been whisked away from us in their prime? If they could pass on their wisdom, what would they tell us to do?

The other thing I’m doing is upping my exercise. I’m not training for anything in particular, but because I’m so funny, when asked, I often quip, “I’m training for middle age.” Although said in jest, I’m being very serious. Why? Because as we get older, especially over the age of 50, things start to go south very quickly. Therefore, the importance of staying in shape (increasing muscle mass and reducing fat) becomes crucial from a quality-of-life point of view. If, for example, you want to be able to tramp the same distance carrying a 10 kg weighted backpack in ten years that you do now, you need to be carrying a 20 kg weighted backpack because of the amount of strength (muscle mass) we lose over that time. If you’re in your 30s, you don’t need to worry so much about this now; however, make sure you pack this sage advice from Uncle Cillín away somewhere in your mental backpack because you’ll be thankful in 20 years.

So, what’s the answer? For me, the answer lies in our value system and our identity as a person. You see, for my daughter, not eating the marshmallow isn’t a sacrifice at all because she doesn’t like marshmallows; however, it also wouldn’t be a sacrifice for a person who simply didn’t eat sugar because of their value system. “Hi, Cillín, would you like a cigarette?” “No thank you, kind stranger, I don’t smoke.” Smoking isn’t part of my identity and therefore it’s not a sacrifice for me—no willpower is needed. So here’s my question for you: What beliefs do you have around your impulse control? Are you the type of person who gives in too quickly or, even if you used to, have you developed strategies to postpone gratification for a larger reward later down the track? Are you even tempted by life’s marshmallows because of your value system? Are you a saver rather than a spendthrift (identity statements)?

Are you interested in tools for building a high performing team? Then check out my new book ‘Now, Lead Others’.

Now, Lead Others

If you’re interested in hearing more tips about how you can Unleash Your Potential or that of your team, please feel free to drop me a note. I’m always happy to share ideas and help where I can.

Rebuilding teams and organizational culture in times of change

Rebuilding Teams and Organisational Culture in Times of Change

February 10th, 2025 Posted by Leadership Coaching, Leadership Tools, Performance Coaching 0 thoughts on “Rebuilding Teams and Organisational Culture in Times of Change”

The last 12 months have been challenging for organisations and people alike.. The New Zealand economy has seen a rise in unemployment to 5.1%, the highest level since 2020, with around 32,000 jobs lost in the past year. This situation has left many employees feeling uncertain and demotivated, making it crucial for leaders to rebuild team morale and organisational culture effectively. There is a need to do more with fewer people and fewer resources. (more…)

Effective Delegation

Before you delegate, do this first …

November 20th, 2024 Posted by Leadership Coaching, Leadership Tools, Performance Coaching 0 thoughts on “Before you delegate, do this first …”

“I’m too busy”.

“I just don’t have the time.”

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Giving feedback

Three steps to getting these vital conversations right every time!

October 8th, 2024 Posted by Leadership Tools, Life Coaching, Performance Coaching 0 thoughts on “Three steps to getting these vital conversations right every time!”

As leaders we often forget how important a feedback conversation is to one of our team. To you and me, giving feedback might seem like a simple straightforward conversation but that couldn’t be further from reality. Even the smallest, seemingly insignificant, feedback can be taken the wrong way.

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Results Coaching

Seven steps to start building trust with your team

August 31st, 2024 Posted by Leadership Tools, Life Coaching, Performance Coaching 0 thoughts on “Seven steps to start building trust with your team”

Without trust, the chances of building a high performing team are virtually nil. Unfortunately it takes time and effort to build the type of trust in which a team can thrive but there are ways to help speed this along. One approach that I share in my leadership workshops is a simple, yet powerful, expectations exploration exercise. So how does it work?

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Results Coaching

If only I had more time to get things done…

July 3rd, 2024 Posted by Leadership Tools, Life Coaching, Performance Coaching 0 thoughts on “If only I had more time to get things done…”

“If only I had more time to get things done …” If this is a lament you say to yourself more often than not then it’s clear you need a new strategy. I’m not judging because I’ve caught myself saying this more than I care to admit but it got to a point at the beginning of this year when I had enough!

I had all these big goals for the summer that included: (more…)

Dealing with the Ups and Downs of Life

October 25th, 2022 Posted by Leadership Coaching 0 thoughts on “Dealing with the Ups and Downs of Life”

As I write this I’m not long back in New Zealand after taking another unplanned trip back to Ireland. Although it was great to see family, sadly the circumstances weren’t what I would have wished for; however, in life we can’t always choose the outcomes we’re faced with. In these instances we can ask ourselves, “Why did this happen to me?” but, after working through the emotion that often comes with tough times, I prefer to ask, “What now?”

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Building a Cohesive Culture in a Hybrid World

August 16th, 2022 Posted by Leadership Coaching, Leadership Tools, Performance Coaching 0 thoughts on “Building a Cohesive Culture in a Hybrid World”

From catching up with my coaching colleagues a common theme that keeps coming up is that CEOs and senior leaders are struggling to build or maintain a sense of culture within their teams or across their organisation. While it is a new world, a lot of the skills leaders possess can be easily transferred to this new world. The problem is that in the majority of cases these skills are simply just tweaking the basics. (more…)

What’s the one thing that is more powerful than training?

April 30th, 2022 Posted by Life Coaching, Performance Coaching 0 thoughts on “What’s the one thing that is more powerful than training?”

I was only ever pretty average at school. The best grade I got was a ‘B’ and I only got it once. Needless to say the world of academia wasn’t for me. I was more into sports and training at the time so it was off to fitness and leisure management for me. What was really interesting is that I soon propelled myself to the top of the class. (more…)

How Can You Put Psychological Safety Into Action?

March 29th, 2022 Posted by Leadership Coaching, Leadership Tools, Performance Coaching 0 thoughts on “How Can You Put Psychological Safety Into Action?”

Have you ever been brushed off, ignored, demeaned, silenced, or humiliated? These painful and memorable experiences trigger the self-censoring instinct that is within us all and effectively neutralises performance. When social friction exists in a team the predictable approach to our work is one of caution, preventing people from bringing their whole self to work. (more…)

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